Are you worried that your partner might be using dating sites to meet new people?
Dating apps made it a lot easier to find a person to create a connection with whether that’s solely short-term sexual, or long-term romantic relationships.
An easy way to destroy a relationship too.
If you're feeling uneasy about your partner's behavior, talk to them and find out the truth. You deserve to be in a relationship based on trust and honesty.
Thankfully, the internet can help you find out if your partner is using dating sites or other websites.
Despite your concern, this isn’t going to be much of a difficult trip!
Here are the 10 most effective ways to find out if your partner is using dating apps or sites:
1. Have a look at how they behave around their phone and computer.
A lot of the ways involved in most guides on how to find out if your partner is on a dating site tend to revolve around sneaky methods.
Most of these guides don’t involve one of the fundamental keys to finding out the truth: observing your partner’s behavior.
If you want to know if your partner is on a dating app or site, you have to observe their behavior. They’re up to something suspicious if they:
- Get nervous or anxious when you’re around their phone;
- Changed passwords all of a sudden, moreover they refuse to share them with you;
- Turned all their notifications off;
- Started acting strangely different around you: it’s notable in their display of affection as well as approach to you;
- Make it impossible for you to even peek at their phone or computer;
- Carry their phones everywhere they go.
2. Ask them the tricky questions about online dating.
After observing their behavior and confirming your doubts that they’re truly up to something, it’ll be time to do something actionable.
This is slightly indirect, but it can be just enough to help you find out if your husband – or any partner for that matter – is on dating sites.
Here are the tricky questions you can ask your partner about online dating to find out if they’re using dating apps:
- “I think I saw a Tinder notification on your phone. What’s up with that?”
- “Our internet has become super slow recently. I'm thinking of giving a call to the ISP and asking them for the list of sites visited. What do you think?”
- “What if I know what you don’t want me to know?”
- “What’s your opinion on dating apps?”
- “A friend of mine started using dating apps, and she sent me a profile thinking it was you haha!”
All of these examples will help you have an idea or even a straight answer on whether your partner is using dating sites.
Based on their reaction and response to your question, you’ll be able to have a good grasp of what’s going on. They might as well fully expose themselves!
3. Talk to them.
Infidelity statistics have shown an increase in the number of infidelities that occur due to the use of dating apps/sites.
Doubting that your partner might be using dating apps has become the new normal.
One of the most secure ways to find out if your partner is on a dating site or app in a healthy relationship is to ask them about it.
Here’s how you can start this conversation to find out if your boyfriend – or girlfriend – is on dating apps:
- “I’d like to know where our relationship is headed, that’s why I’m curious to know if you’re still using dating apps or not.”
- “I have a feeling you’re using dating apps… Would you mind helping me clear up my thoughts?”
- “I don’t mean to start an argument but I need you to help me clear up some thoughts in my head… Are you using dating apps?”
The one common point these examples make is a calm approach instead of storming comments that would lead your partner to defensive behavior.
Triggering their defensive behavior can push them into avoiding the truth.
So, if you choose the first method to find out if your partner (boyfriend, girlfriend, or even spouse) is using dating apps, make sure you have a calm approach to the conversation.
4. Have a ‘full transparency day’ – exchange phones and check anything you’ve been curious about.
This is just a civil way of checking your partner’s phone to see if they’re using any dating apps or sites.
The best part about this is that your conscience will let you sleep at night because you didn’t breach your partner’s trust by checking their phone without their permission.
For this to fully work out you must
- Avoid warning your partner about this beforehand since they can ‘prepare’ and remove anything suspicious;
- Approach the conversation calmly.
For example, “Let’s have a full transparency day today! I give you my phone, you give me yours, and we check them out in front of each other.”
- Be able to give your partner your phone as well.
This is yet another superb way of finding out if your boyfriend is on dating sites for free.
Once you have their phone, you can check whatever you’re curious about without worrying that you’ll get caught!
5. Ask a friend to help you find out if your spouse is on dating sites for free.
Whether you’re trying to find out if your husband is on dating sites or if your wife has installed dating apps again, a friend can always be a good help.
If you have single friends who are using dating apps, then you can save quite a lot of effort and money on this one.
Let them know you suspect that your partner is using dating apps, and if they spot them while swiping let you know.
Once (and if) your friend finds your partner’s dating profile while swiping, there are three things they can do:
- Share your partner’s profile link with you.
- Screenshot your partner’s profile and send it to you.
- Swipe right to see if the profile is still active.
A lot of dating apps/sites give you the option to share a profile with others.
If your friend finds the dating profile of your partner they can share the link or a screenshot with you so you can see it for yourself and keep it as proof.
On the other hand, swiping right on your partner’s dating profile can help you find out if the dating profile is active or not.
6. Search your partner’s name on particular dating sites through Google.
If your partner is on some of the popular dating apps then you can search your partner’s name on some of those apps through Google
But, there’s a way to search for your partner on Tinder or other apps by using Google.
Searching your partner’s possible dating profile on Google is yet another free method to find out if they’re on online dating platforms.
Since most of the data shown in dating profiles are not public on search engines such as Google, but names often are visible to Google.
- You’ll find your partner’s dating profile by typing the site and the name of your partner in the search bar.
- Make multiple searches. You’re not required to pay for anything.
Here’s an example of how you can search your partner to find out if they’re using dating sites:
This works only for dating sites, not apps. And to be more specific, this works excellently with Tinder!
7. Use searching sites to find out if your partner is on any dating sites.
Searching sites, unfortunately, aren’t free. They’re designed for searching for people on dating apps, making their services exclusive, hence they’re not free.
Despite the inconvenience because they’re not free, these sites are quite a reliable way to find your partner on a dating app.
The benefit of using third-party apps is that it allows you to search for your partner on any dating app or site out there.
All it takes is writing your partner’s (wife or husband) name in this form and see the results:
Some of those apps include:
- Cheaterbuster (works for Tinder only),
- Buzzhumble (works for Bumble searches only.
Once you get your search results you’ll see if your boyfriend or girlfriend has a dating app or a dating site.
8. Look their images up on Pimeyes to see if they joined dating sites.
You can find out if your partner is on a dating site by conducting a reverse image search as well.
Although not so widely mentioned, this is yet another great way to go about this without violating your partner’s privacy.
Back in the day, you could’ve easily done this through Google Images, but recently it’s no longer a reliable source for such searches.
Pimeyes works simply:
- Pick an image of your partner.
- Upload it on the search bar of Pimeyes.
- Check the results.
- To have access to the links shown in the results, you have to pay for further services. That will be up to you.
9. Check their personal devices without their permission.
Did your partner say no to ‘full transparency day’? I bet that raised even more suspicion.
If you really don’t trust your partner, and they’re continuously showing secretive behavior then you can check their personal devices to find out if they’re using dating apps.
This is not a healthy way to find out the truth you’re looking for, however, in most scenarios it removes doubt.
Once you get your partner’s personal devices you’ll be looking for:
- A dating app icon on their home screen,
- A dating site on their browser history,
- A secret folder on their home screen,
- Verification codes in their messages,
- Emails from dating apps or sites.
A quick explanation for those who got confused at the ‘secure folder’ part!
A secure folder allows you to hide pictures, files, and apps on it. It’s essentially a folder with a password in which you put anything.
An Android Secure Folder icon looks like this:
While an iPhone Secure Folder icon looks something similar to this:
10. Last resort: Create a false account on popular dating apps/sites to find your partner there.
Since you’re not sure of which dating app your partner might be using, trying out some of the popular dating apps or sites could be a good idea.
It’s a free way of finding out if your partner (boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse) has a dating profile.
What you want to do is go to the site or download the app you suspect your partner could be using and create a profile. After that:
- Set your profile in a way to make a good match with your partner (e.g. same interests as theirs, music or film preferences, etc.)
- Adjust your preferences according to your partner.
For example, if your partner is 35 years old, then you’ll want to adjust your age preferences to 31-36, or 30-35.
- Swipe right or like profiles of people that are similar to your partner so that the algorithm detects your ‘taste’ in people hence speeding up the process.
Keep in mind that this method is free, however, it can cause you trouble in your relationship.
If your partner is having doubts about you too, then this could be ‘the confirmation’ of their doubts.
What to do if you find out your partner is on dating apps/sites?
Being faced with such a situation can really take a toll on your mental health.
Despite the expectations and the suspicions, it still hits you by surprise.
There are three basic things you can do when you find out your spouse/partner is on dating apps/sites:
1. Talk with your partner about this. Getting the news your partner is on dating apps is a bitter experience to face.
So, if you feel like addressing the situation with your partner, have a moment or two to calm down before doing so.
This conversation, at the very least, will help you have closure.
2. When you’re ready, make a decision. You’ve calmed down, you’ve talked it through with your partner, and now it’s time to make a decision
You need to take your time on this one as well. It’s a form of betrayal and disrespect towards you and the relationship you have together.
Make a decision that sounds right for YOU. Think it through, take your time. Is it worth giving this another try?
3. Seek therapy/couple’s therapy. Therapy will do you well despite your decision on the situation.
If you decide to move on from the relationship on your own, therapy will help you go through it.
On the other hand, if you decide to stay in the relationship and work things out, therapy will play a crucial role in figuring things out together.
Your trust was betrayed so it’ll take time and effort to get back to zero and for the trust to be rebuilt in the relationship.
Why is my partner using dating apps/sites?
Some call this a skewed behavior, and some excuse it just fine.
The difference between skeevy and excusable is in the person’s perspective on dating apps.
Why would someone in a relationship be using a dating profile behind their partner’s back?
Here are the three most common reasons you found your partner on a dating app:
- They’re looking for other people. The message of dating apps is clear: dating.
Your partner could be looking for a short hook-up or something long-term. The point is, they’re looking for other people besides you.
There are plenty of social platforms that give people the opportunity to create friendships.
“I’m looking for friends.” It’s an excuse to cover up the trust betrayal.
- They’re seeking validation. “Would I be a catch if I’d be single?” or “Let’s see what’d be out there if I’d be single.”
After it’s been a while in the relationship, sometimes the curiosity about the ‘single life success’ starts to arise.
In some cases, it’s just this curiosity and need, and that’s it.
However, this curiosity can lead to more even if that’s not the intention of the ‘curious partner’.
- They didn’t delete the dating account properly.
Countless inactive dating profiles are floating around dating apps and sites. The reason?
A lot of people think that deleting the app will also delete your account, and it leads to their profile still wandering around the dating app.
To completely delete a dating profile you need to deactivate the account somewhere in the settings of that app/site.
To know if a dating profile is active you’ve got to check for a recent picture, a green dot, or an activity status, etc.
Finding your partner on a dating app…
Except for third-party apps, the rest of these ways to find out your partner is on dating apps/sites are for free and don’t cost you to try them out.
You’ve got this!
Best of luck,