The thought and doubt about whether your boyfriend is on Tinder can be stressful. Even that is an understatement.
The uncertainty of it can be tiring, and you can’t help but feel like police trying to control every one of his moves.
There are genuine and non-genuine ways to get rid of this horrible feeling – to finally find out if your boyfriend or spouse (husband) is on Tinder or not.
I’ve carefully listed each method below so that you can have a better understanding of each.
Here they are, 12 sneaky ways to find out if your boyfriend (or even husband) is on Tinder:
1. Have a look at secrecy signs. Is he showing any?
One of the very first ways to know if your boyfriend is on Tinder is to have a look at how he behaves.
Signs of secrecy are a huge giveaway on this one!
So, is he on Tinder? Well, he might be if he
- hides his phone from you at all costs,
- changed his passwords and refuses to share them with you,
- gets nervous when his phone is around you,
- turned off all his notifications.
These can indicate your boyfriend is on Tinder or up to something suspicious on his phone!
2. Look at his phone for any Tinder notifications..
This takes no effort and no brain to understand.
You don’t have to do anything unhealthy, simply feed your curiosity by taking a look at his phone from a distance whenever he receives a notification.
You can do this at least for a while to find out if your boyfriend is on Tinder. Yes, for free.
Since Tinder sends you notifications about your activity on the app, if he has the app installed and doesn’t have his notifications turned off, this is going to be pretty easy!
3. Search him on Tinder through Google with site:tinder.com [boyfriends name]
Okay, we’ve gone through the effortless methods, now it’s time to get practical!
Another stealthy way to find out if your boyfriend is on Tinder – completely for free, by the way – is to make good use of Google!
I’m here to tell you exactly how you do that! Here’s how you can find out if your boyfriend (or husband for that matter) is on Tinder through Google:
- Open Google,
- Type site:tinder.com [his name]; To make this clearer, here’s an example, site:tinder.com jim
- Look at the results including Google Images results for your search. Try his full name first, then go for nicknames.
Now, I know this may seem impossible or even unreal. But this is all it takes. Go ahead and give it a try!
4. Do a quick search through the Tinder URL.
This is way less complicated than it may sound!
URL stands for link essentially. So, the simple thing you have to do is
- Open a new tab on your browser (be it on your phone or computer),
- Type tinder.com/@username; For example, tinder.com/@jimmy
This is where you have to give your best guess at his possible username. Otherwise, you’ll end up seeing profiles that aren’t your boyfriend’s.
On the other hand, if the username you typed doesn’t exist on Tinder, you’ll see this:
Don’t let it scare you away, instead, keep trying!
5. Ask your boyfriend for the truth.
Find a calm way to talk your doubts to him. This is the mature way to solve this issue if you feel like having peace of mind.
- Make sure you ask him in person.
- Pay attention to his body language, eye contact, and tone of voice.
Since you’re in a relationship with him, or some of you are even married, you can tell when he lies.
- Communicate your doubts to your partner, and let him know what you’re thinking.
- A simple: “Baby, for some reason I have a feeling you’re on Tinder. I thought it was a good idea to talk it out with you, are you on Tinder?” will do.
6. Ask your friends to let you know if they see his profile while swiping on Tinder.
If you have friends that use Tinder, and they’re close to you, they’re friends you can trust, then tell them to let you know if they happen to see him on Tinder while they swipe.
They can easily share his profile with you on email, WhatsApp, or anywhere really; or they can send you screenshots so that you have evidence.
If they’re good friends, they’ll help you out!
7. Check his devices to see if he’s really on Tinder.
Yet another way to see if your boyfriend/husband is on Tinder; Though this is more of an unhealthy way…
You can know someone’s on Tinder if they’ve got the Tinder app on their phone, or if they have tinder.com on their recent browsing history.
Checking his devices is easier if you already know his passwords, which I’m sure most of you reading this do. Once you have access to his device(s), look for
- The Tinder app,
- Tinder.com on his browsing history,
- Tinder emails on his inbox,
- Verification codes by Tinder in his messages.
If you find any of these on his phone or computer, then he is using or at the very least has used Tinder.
8. Create a fake Tinder account and start swiping until you find him.
If you find your boyfriend’s profile on Tinder, you have to make sure he’s active.
Well, to know your boyfriend is active on Tinder, you can test it out by texting him. To text him, you must have an account.
Before we get into this, I’d like to let you know how time and effort-consuming this is.
Not to mention the problems it could bring you into the relationship and the guilt you might feel afterward.
Yet, it is a way to find out if your boyfriend or husband is on Tinder, which helps in getting rid of your doubts. What you can do is
- Go to tinder.com or download the app on your phone.
- Create a Tinder account (preferably a fake one).
- Adjust the preferences according to what his profile would be.
For example: if he’s 32, set your age range preferences 29-32; do the same for the location part, if he’s near or if you live together set the mile/km range as small as possible.
- Put the same interests as his so that the Tinder algorithm sees you as a potential match hence increasing the odds of seeing him on Tinder.
To easily expose him, if you stumble across his profile, take the screenshots, like the profile, and try starting a conversation.
9. Search for boyfriend on Tinder through sites designed for this purpose.
For those of you wondering if you can search for someone on Tinder or not, the answer is yes. You can do that despite not having a Tinder profile.
There are third-party apps/sites that provide such services. A few of them are:
You can also use this search bar right here to see if your boyfriend is on Tinder or not:
When you search for him, search for his name or something he’d go by on a dating app; put his age, and location correctly.
Unfortunately, you have to pay for such services. Fortunately, some of them are not too expensive; which makes it an easy way to see if someone has Tinder.
Note: Before you do this, think if your spouse (or boyfriend) would use his real name or make a fake Tinder profile.
If you don’t feel like spending money on this, then:
10. Check the sites and apps visited with your WIFI to see if he’s been on Tinder recently.
For this, you have to contact your internet service provider (known as ISP). This can be especially handy if you live in the same place!
If you’re afraid that you’ll look like a freak when you ask your ISP for this favor, then don’t be!
People ask for this favor from their ISP way more than you can imagine. However, these are people trying to monitor their children’s exposure to the internet.
Here’s what it takes
- Find the phone number of your ISP,
- Once you call them, ask them something along the lines of “Would it be possible to get a rapport or list of the sites (and apps, if possible) viewed with my WIFI?”
On the other hand, if you have a friend or relative skilled in IT, they can do you a favor on this one!
11. Join Facebook Groups and forums for Tinder..
Another relatively easy way to find out if your husband is on Tinder is by joining Facebook Groups and forums dedicated to this purpose.
Although super secretive, the ‘Are We Dating the Same Guy’ Facebook groups have thousands of members posting pictures of men on the group each day.
These are mostly pictures from dating apps. And if your man is on Tinder, he’s likely to act suspiciously.
If the woman is vigilant, he’s likely to end up in one of those groups!
Here are some Facebook groups and a Reddit subreddit that can help you out on this:
- Are We Dating The Same Guy (NYC) – Facebook Group,
- Are We Dating The Same Guy (Washington DC) – Facebook Group,
- Are We Dating The Same Guy (LA) – Facebook Group,
- r/Tinder – Reddit Subreddit.
12. Create an account on Tinder using his phone number.
This is the last on this list for one reason: it can put your relationship at a tremendously big risk.
It’s going to be a violation of his privacy, hence if you don’t think you can pull this off with certainty, you better stay away from this one!
For those who think they’ve got this, here’s how it goes:
- Grab his phone when he’s not around, and take his SIM card and put it in your phone.
- Install Tinder or just go to Tinder.com on your phone or computer.
- Start creating an account with his phone number.
- With his SIM card in your phone, you’ll receive the verification code on your phone hence easily pulling this off.
- If Tinder guides you to create a new account, he’s not on Tinder. At least not with that phone number.
- If there’s already an account created, you’ll be able to see the conversations, matches, and have full access to his account.
What to do if you find him on Tinder?
Finding out that your husband/boyfriend is on Tinder can be overwhelming.
It can make rational and reasonable thinking difficult, hence you’re left in doubt and dilemma about what to do and what not to do.
I’m here to help you out on this part as well. Here’s what you can do if you find him on Tinder:
- Have a moment to recollect your thoughts and feelings.
Anger, sadness, or other emotions in an overwhelming manner don’t help much with the quality of your thinking.
This is why you need a deep breath and a few hours to calm down.
- Confirm if your boyfriend has been active on the app.
A lot of people think that removing the app from the phone deletes their Tinder profile too. Hence their profiles are left wandering the app.
If there’s a green dot on his profile, and there’s “recently active” written close to his name, then he’s been active.
Also, look for recent pictures of him on his profile; or a bio that resembles more of the current lifestyle/mindset he has these days, rather than the ones he had 3 years ago.
- Once you’re calm and confirm if he is or is not active on the app, it’s time for you to make a decision.
I’m not going to tell you what to do in this case; this is up to you. Think of how it would affect you right now and in the long-term future.
- Let him know about your decision. Talk it through or ask him questions about it if you need closure.
If you’re looking for ways to start such a conversation then here are a few examples:
“Jessica told me she saw you on Tinder and there’s something I’d like to say about it…”
“I was having my doubts, you told me you weren’t using the app, I saw that you were lying, and I found your profile. I’d like to know why you did this?”
“I found out you’re on Tinder and I made a decision…”
“I found your Tinder profile, I feel sad and hurt, I think I deserve an explanation on this.”
Why would your boyfriend or husband be on Tinder?
If he’s on Tinder he has his reasons for being there. There’s no sure way of knowing what they are unless he directly tells you about it.
Though, here are some common reasons why men in relationships/marriages keep going back on Tinder:
- He’s trying to find someone else;
- He’s looking for validation. It’s his way of confirming “I’m still wanted by women;”
- The curiosity got the better of him. He couldn’t help but look at what’s out there;
- This is his way of sabotaging the relationship;
- He’s immature;
- He’s trying to fulfill his needs from other sources other than your relationship; etc.
He may have his reasons, but none of them do not justify his actions, nor do they leave room for you to blame yourself.
All the best,