You managed to get her number; congratulations!
But, now she’s not replying and that’s bad news because you really liked her.
She stopped texting back! Insecurities and impatience joined the room, along with questions such as:
“Why did she stop texting? Is she not interested?”
“How long do I wait to text her again? What do I even say this time?!”
What a party! Seen before? Yes. Done before? Absolutely!
Buckle up handsome! We’re about to learn some stuff!
Here are 11 possible reasons she didn’t text you back:
1. She’s confused: your intentions weren’t clear.
She gave you her number, but she still has no idea what you want from her. This makes her want to keep her distance from you.
You might be giving her the feeling that you’re keeping her as a backup.
As in, when you’re bored and have nothing to do, you’ve got her number and text her to escape the boredom you’re in. Women hate that!
On the other hand, you might be making her feel played.
Today you flirt with her, the next day you’re begging to be friend-zoned.
Did I hear someone yell “mixed signals”? Another thing that makes her tired!
Generally, you confuse her with your hot and cold behavior, she gets tired, so she decides to drop it all there and then because you keep confusing her.
2. You came off as impatient and needy.
Your needy side kicked in again, and this time it didn’t knock, this time it destroyed the door and got in uninvited.
It is out there. She saw this side of you. And it is completely okay.
You texted her once, but she didn't reply.
Let me guess what happens after a few hours… Do you text her again?
When you’re constantly texting her and not giving her space,
- You’ll seem like you’ve got no life, and that is a bit of a turn-off.
- I know that you like her a lot and can’t keep it to yourself, but this might annoy her enough to not text you again. Ever.
- Your self-respect goes off the table and she can no longer sense it.
3. She’s not interested.
Yes. If she doesn't text back, it might just mean that she is not interested.
Well, how do you know she’s not interested?
If she didn’t tell you straightforwardly, then there are pure signs she’s not interested (that you cannot see because you like her so much).
- She doesn’t reply after you texted her a few times.
- When she finally replies after days, she replies with very, very short answers.
- She doesn’t accept the call/s.
Whatever the case is if she’s interested she will not take too long to reply.
We find ourselves carrying our phones everywhere we go and it takes a few seconds to send a text. No biggie!
She’s not texting you for weeks/months? She’s not interested.
If she’s not interested, then why did she give me her number? Well, there are a few answers to that:
– She didn’t want to make you feel bad so she gave you her number. (it seemed the right thing to do at the moment)
– She felt the spark at the moment, but she isn’t feeling it right now.
Her eyes sparkle while she writes her number down, you’re both oh so happy… The next day, she might just not feel it.
– She wanted to avoid explaining why she doesn’t feel like giving you her number.
She’ll deal with it easier by ignoring your texts.
Note: This does not mean that you’re unattractive. It only means you’re not compatible as a pair.
4. You waited too long to ask her out.
Your intentions weren’t clear, and she felt like you were messing with her head and wasting her time.
You’re in a restaurant. You ordered your food, and you can see it getting prepared to be served on your table, it even has your name close to the plate.
The waiter is now walking towards you. You smell the delicious food, you see how amazing it looks. Boy! You cannot wait to start eating…
All of a sudden the distance between you and the waiter keeps getting longer and longer, even though he’s walking towards you.
You get a feeling that the food you want so bad is never going to arrive; of course, you walk out and go elsewhere because you’re starving.
Now, I know it can be difficult to find the right timing.
Still, you have to ask her out before she starts feeling that the food isn’t ever going to reach her table.
In other non-figurative words, you took too long to give her a sign that confirms that you’re interested in her and that you want to pursue a connection with her.
5. She got bored.
She texts you with excitement and interest. You reply with things such as: “Good.”, “Cool.”, “Oh, nice.”. How dare you, sir?!
You two have been texting for a while now, if she was the only one ‘carrying’ the conversation then I’m afraid I have bad news for you: she got bored.
She asks you questions, but you answer them shortly and don’t bother to ask her back. You send her negative signals.
She will get bored, she is also very likely to think you’re not that much interested. Hence she saves herself the effort and simply stops texting you altogether.
6. You’re overdoing compliments.
A nice and meant compliment here and there is always a good idea.
She can tell the difference between a compliment that’s meant for her, and a compliment that’s meant for her AND 12 other women.
Whatever your intention is, this isn’t going to work.
But everyone loves compliments, why is this a bad idea? It is a bad idea because you’ll look fake.
Most probably this isn’t her first encounter with someone that showers her with compliments to get something back from her (it can be anything, really).
You might not be doing it intentionally, you’re just in awe of her beauty, but that can easily scare her off and give her the wrong impression.
7. She’s busy.
One of the most common reasons why she didn't text back is also her busy lifestyle.
She’s got a life, right? She’s working, she’s traveling, she’s doing this, she’s doing that.
Let’s say she does so many things that she completely forgot that some guy named Ryan in fact, does exist. Sorry, Ryan.
– She’s so busy that at the end of the day she gets tired and forgets to reply to you.
Thankfully she doesn’t have any idea that you’re out there telling your friends “Omg she left me on seen!” because that would roughen her agenda for realsies.
– She’s so busy that she doesn’t have time to tell you that she’s… well, busy.
Though, once again, it is super easy to reply to a text these days. It only takes a few seconds. But still, it depends on what she’s up to during the day.
8. She’s playing THAT game.
Yes, the “hard to get” game, the “you have to earn it” game, THAT game.
People that we like and don’t show many signs they like us back drive us crazy, and it makes us curious (because, of course, why wouldn’t anyone like us?)
It’s in our genes; we’re curious and we want attention.
The fact that you’re reading this article means that her game is obviously working, of course, if she’s playing it.
Notice her approach to you, if it is on and off, hot and cold, warm then distant, she could be up to a game to make you chase her.
Keep in mind that those tricks aren’t healthy and they don’t indicate a good start to your connection.
9. She’s unsure and not ready.
If you’ve got her number (it doesn't matter when) and she’s not texting back, then it could be that she’s not ready yet.
Maybe she thought she was but then realized along the way that she was not really ready to start something.
Whether it is her career or a past relationship that she’s not over yet or her current emotional state, it takes time.
It could be anything that makes her feel not ready to dedicate her time to you.
This is the case in which she needs her time to think before she jumps in.
It can be a single well-written line that will make her make up her mind.
It can also be a single horribly written line (or a horrible picture – a picture of your Lil’ Billy) that will make her make up her mind (NOT in your favor).
10. You came on too strong.
Being excited about a connection and being unrealistically excited about a connection are two different things.
A lot of men tend to come on too strongly in romantic connections, especially during the early stages of them.
Coming on too strong is very likely to scare her away, give her the wrong impression about your intentions, and make you look fake.
If you’ve already started expressing your admiration with strong romantic statements, and it’s just the early beginning, then you’re likely to scare her away.
She then chooses the easy way out and decides to walk away because at this point she can’t predict your response if she tells you she’s leaving.
11. You said or did something to upset her.
One of the reasons why she is not texting back can also be a word or an action of yours that ended up upsetting her.
Different women choose different tools and ways of expressing their dissatisfactions.
One of those various ways and tools is a lack of communication. In a way, she’s standing her ground or making a decision for which she feels safe.
– It might have been that a word or an action of yours got perceived by her as a red flag.
– You might have said something hurtful and she wants you to get a lesson.
– Your words and/or actions made her think that you two are not a good match.
What to do when she doesn't text back?
Thankfully we’re human beings and not gods, therefore we don’t have to be perfect. I mean we can try, but still, it is a french no.
You’re “humaning” and of course, at times it might not go as well as you think it does/should.
Whether it was on Tinder or Whatsapp, it doesn’t matter what form of communication, you did something she didn’t like or she’s simply not feeling it.
Here’s what to do when she doesn’t text back:
– Respect her decision: Give her space
Let her take the time she needs. Don’t be pushy. Be quiet for some time.
If you texted her, say 2 times, and she didn’t reply then just don’t text her anything in 3 weeks or so. You know, self-respect?
Constantly texting her can make it a bit difficult to get the situation back because you can seem desperate.
On the other hand, instead of pulling her closer to you, you can push her even further by not leaving her alone.
Don’t text her, don’t insist on getting a text back, give her her space.
And after a while:
– If you didn’t overdo it: Text her once more.
Doesn’t matter how busy she is, or what game she’s playing, if she’s interested, she’ll reply, even if she does so a month later.
Once you give her the time she needs, say a week or so, you can text her once more if you didn’t overdo it with the number of texts.
You can send her something simple such as:
- “Haven’t heard from you in a while. How are you?”
- “Hi, I’m looking for this gorgeous girl, [describe her hair and eye color]. Have you seen her?”
- “Is everything ok?”
- [send her a picture of something she’s curious about]“They just posted it and I had to let you know cause I know how much you like them.”
- [send her a picture of something she’s curious about] “… cause I know you like such stuff.” to let her know you pay attention to her personality too. Women appreciate that.
On the other hand, if you waited too long to ask her out, this can be your chance to redeem yourself:
“Would you like to grab a cup of coffee with me this Saturday? Because it’s been too long, and I know I should’ve asked you earlier.”
Try to keep the conversation going, but do not push it if she replies in a cold manner.
– You can also straightforwardly address the situation.
A mature way of dealing with this is being straightforward about what’s bothering you.
A straightforward approach will give you a straightforward response and, hopefully, peace of mind.
Here are a few examples of what you can say to address the fact that she didn’t text back:
- “Hi, [name]. I couldn’t help but notice that you have withdrawn from the conversations a lot recently. Is everything ok?”
- “Hello, [name]. I understand if you need space, however, I’d appreciate it more if you’d let me know about it. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
- “I appreciate our connection a lot. I’ll gladly respect your space if you ask me to. I’m not very fond of passive ways of communicating, hence I’d appreciate it if you’d let me know if I’ve done something wrong or hurtful to make you pull away so harshly.”
– If she’s close to you or a friend: call or text her in a casual way.
If you’ve done phone calls before, then calling her and just asking how she is, it’s a good idea.
When you talk on the phone it is easier for the conversation to flow, and if she’s interested you can move this to text and get back to communication like you used to.
A call can be a thoughtful gesture if you’re close to her. On the other hand, it can be very creepy if she’s a potential partner you’ve just met.
If you’re close to her and this tends to happen often, you can send her a picture making fun of the fact that she didn’t reply:
– Make a decision based on her approach.
After making your move to address the situation or simply reach her once more, it’ll be time for you to make a decision.
- A no answer is also an answer. You’ll have to move on if she doesn’t reply. You should not text her again if she doesn't reply.
- If she told you she needs time, respect it, and don’t be pushy.
- If she provided you with the reasons why she didn’t text back, consider how that affects your communication now and in the future.
- If she acts cold and distant, let her go.
She didn't text me back: How long should you wait?
Getting her to text you back has also a lot to do with the timing.
Perhaps she didn't text you today, or for a week, or for a longer time.
She didn’t text you back for a reason, be it on her or on you. Well, at the end of the day, she didn’t text you back. So how long should you wait?
Depending on how long she didn’t text you, here’s how long you should wait:
– If she didn’t text you all day, then wait until that day is over. I know it pisses you off, but be patient. Wait until the next day.
– If she hasn't texted you in a week, then text her once more. If she doesn’t reply, then you’ve got to move on.
– If you sent her a picture and she didn’t reply yet, wait until she replies. Wait for a day, or two days until you send her another text.
– If she didn’t text you back after the first date, then let her have the space, especially if you already made an attempt to talk to her.
– If you texted her multiple times and she still didn’t reply, don’t wait for her any longer, you’ve got to move on. Doesn’t matter if she reads your texts or not, DO NOT text her again.
Sometimes it’s not you, it’s her.
Surprisingly, there are also reasons that don’t have much to do with something you did or said. It’s just… her.
This could be her desperate call for attention, her insecurities, her ‘normal’ way of communicating, her busy lifestyle, or simply, her.
If you took the time to reflect on your behavior as well and concluded that you didn’t do anything wrong, then it could be her.
If that’s the case, let her have the time she needs. She’ll get back to you when she’s ready.
If it happens to be you and not her, then consider
- Showing her you’re interested in her by asking questions about her.
- Engaging more in the conversation.
- Don’t play hot and cold.
- Try to avoid generic compliments. Focus on the details you like about her that make her unique.
You’ve got this!