What are the dos and don’ts for men and women when texting after the date?
Congrats!! Whether the date went good, or bad, doesn’t matter. Congrats for putting yourself out there!
“Thank you, but I’m here for the texts. When do I text them, or what do I even say?”
You see, it is a good idea to text after the date. It went good or bad, you’re a man or a woman, none of that matters. You text them after the date.
You’ll know why it is good to text them, when it is good to text them, and finally what to text them.
Let’s get that second date, shall we?
…Or avoid it, if that’s the situation with you.
Whichever the case, I got you. So, shall we?
You’ll be reading:
- When Do I Text Them After The First Date?
- What Do I Send Them to Let Them Know I’m Interested?
- 11 General Text Examples to Send Them After The First Date
- 5 Texts To Send Them If You Kissed
- Texts You DO NOT Want to Send After a First Date
- What Do I Text Them to Let Them Know I’m Not Interested Anymore?
- What to Text Them After a Bad First Date?
- What if They Don’t Want a Second Date With Me?
When Do I Text Them After The First Date?
Today! You text them today!
Since you’re reading this article I’m guessing it could be a few hours after the date, or the day after the date.
Let’s say the date was AMAZING!
You replayed almost every single thing in your head, you texted your friends a little bit about how it went, and then left the rest of the story details for later because you HAVE to play that one scene in your head again.
I see you.
Or, it’s been a few hours…And the date was not as you expected.
You replayed things in your head, and perhaps told your friends about it and they gave you some advice on whether you should text them or not…
I see you too.
It is super easy! Trust me. However the date went, you text them.
You don’t want to wait too long. The day after the date should be the maximum.
You also don’t want to rush. If you feel like immediately texting them, feel free to do so. But you might want to wait just a few hours to let the excitement build in.
Alrighty! Now, that’s out of the way.
Let’s see what would be nice to text them after whatever type of date you had.
What Do I Send Them to Let Them Know I’m Interested?
You can send them your friends’ suggestions, but I’m pretty sure you’ve got a good reason you’re here.
These are a few general, and specific lines to send them if your date went awesome and you feel like dancing just because.
Let’s cha-cha-cha, shall we?
11 General Text Examples to Send Them
You saw the signs, and you hesitated to kiss them? Or you’re so into them that you’re almost desperate to see them again (and finally make things right)?
“What do I send them to bring up the fact that I want a second date?”
Welcome to the club of ‘been there, done that’! I got you.
We got the lesson so that people like you will do the ‘right’ version of what we’ve once done wrong, you lucky as#!
Now, I know they’re all amazing, and it’ll be difficult to choose, and I’m not sorry.
Whichever you go for, they’ll get infected by the ‘I’m dancing all over the place, because I can’t wait to see them again’.
You’re welcome, you’re welcome. Now, start counting…
1.“Tonight was amazing! Please text me to let me know you arrived safely.”
This is the most general text you can send them if you don’t want to be too extra.
You let them know you had a good time, and you let them know you care.
After an amazing date I drove this wonderful woman to her place.
A few hours later I was walking all around my apartment, with my heart beating fast while trying to come up with something that’s not nerdy.
As I was walking around, I heard my phone and saw this text that says:
“Hey, I just wanted to make sure you made it home.” It was really sweet.
If you’re still thinking about it… Text him, girl!
2. “Did you do me any voodoo? Because I can’t help but think about our date, and I can’t sleep haha…”
This one is more ‘appropriate’ if you two are somewhat closer to one another, and feel free to express things you wouldn’t with just anyone.
Plus, it’ll lead to a conversation in which you can ask them for a second date.
Doesn’t matter if you’re a lady or a gentleman. If you feel like you can’t get them out of your head, let them know.
Chances are this is mutual, it’s just they’re being hesitant too. Show em!
3. “Time flew so fast, thank you! We should definitely do this more often. I have a few things in mind…”
You let them know you had an awesome time with them, you thank them, period.
You still let them know that you’re interested to see them again, and have other things you’d like to try with them.
A friend of mine and I were having beers after he had a date, and he was telling me about her.
He got a similar text from the girl, and from that moment on our conversation went downhill. He was barely focusing, and me knowing it, at some point I just gave up talking.
Blow his mind, make him pretend he’s listening to his friend and understand nothing until his friend realizes and stops talking. Do that!
P.S They’re still together.
4. “I can’t help but say it again… You looked very, very beautiful!”
This one is quite simple.
Doesn’t matter if you’re a woman texting a man, or vice versa, or a woman texting a woman, or a man texting a man… You feel it, you say it.
Let them know you’re thinking of them.
And eventually, in the conversation, you can mention the fact that you’d like to see them again.
We all know how compliments get the conversations and connections going on. The good chills, the good talks.
And then you finally hit them with the “I’d love to not only see your beauty again, but hear more of what you have to say on [topic]. If you don’t have anything in mind, I’d plan something for this Friday evening.”
And she says YES I HAVE SOMETHING IN MIND! You both win. Congrats!
5. “I heard that if you have a good time on a first date, chances are you’ll have a good time on the second one as well. Would you like to find out if that’s true next week?”
A bit flirty, a bit this, a bit that. This text is one of my favorites.
You’re pretty straightforward about it – You want to ask them on a second date, you ask them like a baws!
This sort of text will give them the “we’re in this together” type of feeling. It’ll make room for funny things to talk about once you’re on the second date.
You’re welcome, very, very, welcome.
6. “What an amazing way to end the week! I’d love to see you again. Is next Friday fine with you?”
Another line for ladies and gentlemen.
Let’s say you had a rough week and you told your date about it. This would be the perfect text.
You were exhausted, but the date made you forget about the rest of the week, and this will make them feel somewhat good about it.
They had a good time themselves, but they also saved someone else’s day.
And you letting them know about this, will somehow make their day even better.
It’s a win win situation, ya know. Very simple, yet very sweet.
Will say yes to a second date? Yes.
7. “You got me very curious about [name of place], how about we meet there this Friday night?”
Whether it is a restaurant, or a park, or any place really. Somewhere you haven’t been before that they mentioned.
It is a pretty good way to ask to see them again, and a good second date idea actually.
Plus, it shows that you pay attention and listen when they’re talking, you’re interested and curious about things that they like and they don’t like.
Next good thing is that when you go out to that place, or do that activity they love so much, they will feel somehow responsible to ‘take care’ of you-show you around, and such things.
It is getting difficult because you’ll like all the options and now you don’t know which one to choose.
I know. Sorry not sorry.
8. “I’m happy we chose to go [activity], I had so much fun! Is there something you’d like to do next time we meet?”
Now, this is some type of next level thing. Letting them do a little work and stuff, ya know.
In other words you’re saying “I had so much fun! I want to let you pick what we’re gonna do next.”
Except this version is way better!
I remember sending such a text a while back.
After a few months of dating, the girl mentioned how she liked the fact that I gave her space to pick something too, because she was so used to the “Meet me at bla bla at 7pm?” guys.
You know, in most heterosexual dating scenes, the guy is usually the one who picks the places, or the activities and asks the girl.
Why not ask her what she would like to do next time. Let her decide, and surprise you too.
9. “Since you didn’t see [movie name], how about we meet up this Friday and go to the movies?”
Doesn’t have to be necessarily a movie, it could be anything really.
A museum, a restaurant, a bar… You name it.
No, literally, you name it because you know the place where they’ve never been or something they’ve never seen.
You take them there, show them why the movie/place is so good, talk and laugh about what they’ve been missing on, and have an amazing second date!
Also, choosing an activity for the second date can be a better idea if you want to avoid those silent moments when you run out of topics to talk about.
10. “I think you put a spell on me… I can’t sleep.”
This is good to send a few hours after the date.
You want to build the excitement, and finally let them know you’re thinking about them.
It’s not a game that you’re playing, it’s not something mean that you’re doing.
It is simply a way to make things more exciting.
It’ll then give you both more material to use to keep the conversation going in a fun way.
You’ll make the first step, you’ll make it easier for them to feel freer when it comes to saying certain things.
11. “I just realized that you remind me of [name of song] by [artist]”
This is one of the sweetest things to do. A girl once did this for me, and I melted, and I was obsessed with the song for days. Even now when I hear it, it gives me a good feeling and reminds me of her.
You want to be careful though. You don’t want to send her/him songs like “Someone Like You” by Adele, it’s not gonna make much sense.
Or a crazy love song that is a little too soon to remind you of someone you went on a first date with.
So, you want to keep a balance. Find that one song that reminds you of them, and send it to them with a cute message.
Eventually it’ll become their song, and no matter how things go, a way or another it’ll also remind them of you. It’s a nice thing to do.
Send them a song
With the text “This describes you pretty well”
You’ll let them know you’re thinking about them, and you’re interested.
Remember: You don’t want to go for crazy sh#t. Otherwise, you’ll have to get back on Tinder and for your surprise see that green dot on their Tinder profile.
Send them an image related to something you talked about.
Whether it is a meme or a gif, anything really.
It’ll let them know you listened, and you care enough to share with them something that reminded you of your conversation.
5 Texts to Send Them If You Kissed
Alriiiight!! We’re talking! Smoochie smoochie!!
Congrats beloved reader! Here you have the texts, knock yourself out:
1. “I’ll say it again, you’re an amazing kisser!”
You told them once, but you want to tell them again. What’s wrong with that? Absolutely nothing. You go and tell them (again) now.
You’re confident about it, and you want to tell them about how impressed you are by their smooching skills. It is indeed a nice compliment.
2. “It still feels like a dream. I’m not ready to wake up yet haha.”
This is one of those sweet texts that give you the good type of chills.
You don’t have to necessarily mention the fact that you kissed right away, you can do that later on in the conversation.
Let them know you enjoyed the kiss.
3. “I’m tasting this sweetness on my lips and I’m telling myself it’s the chocolate, but deep down, I know it’s you.”
If you’re not into the ordinary, then this will do for you.
The boring version of this text would be something like:
“It felt good kissing you.”
Why not send them something that includes chocolate and kissing in the same sentence? That’s right, there’s no reason.
Yummy! It’ll make them smile, it’ll give them the good chills, and it’ll remind them of how bad they want to see you again.
You creative piece of sh#t! And now the example:
4. “Are you free this Friday? I can’t wait to meet you again… and kiss you! Gosh! I can’t wait to kiss you again!
You have to mean this one. If they’re not that good of a kisser but you liked them a lot, you might want to choose a ‘calmer’ text.
If it is mutual, they’ll appreciate your enthusiasm, and it’ll get them more enthusiastic to see you this Friday.
5. “You know, you’re an amazing kisser. Buuut, I’m not sure if your lip balm was cherry or strawberry, so I think we should meet again this week so that I can find out, it’s really messing up my head :P”
This is for my playful fellas. You can twist it a little as you wish, important is that you get the point.
You let them know they’re an amazing kisser, you hit them with the ‘buuut’ and then finally bring them back with ‘I’d love to kiss you again’ said in other playful words.
Texts You DO NOT Want to Send Them After a First Date
’m kind of hoping you’re not seeing this too late, otherwise you’ll have to check out the: what to do if she didn’t text back?
Or read further in this article about ‘what if they don’t want a second date with me?’
I’m talking about the texts that, perhaps you might not mean to, but show that you didn’t listen to a thing they said and were focused on their looks.
Or show that you’re very clingy (even if you aren’t, it might come off like that).
The wrong text can give the wrong impression, and scare them away. Keep it cool…
“I couldn’t say it while there, but the entire time I was imagining you naked.”
I might get a little concerned if you don’t understand what’s wrong with this line.
I’m afraid this is the type of person to get shadowbanned on Tinder…
However, I do understand the freeness of your spirit to say whatever comes to your mind, but such a text can just be too soon after a first date.
Hence it might scare them away.
Plus, it shows that you didn’t pay any attention to what they were saying, or didn’t even try to understand them as a person.
That’s why it is in the DO NOT list. The DO NOT list!
“I bet you’d look amazing without clothes on.”
Another “I don’t care about your personality because I’ve been suppressing my sexual feelings for quite a while now!”
I know we all tend to get a little la-la-la when it’s been a long time ‘without visitors’, but you want to hold it in for a little longer. You can do it pal.
P.S. if you’re this free to communicate with each other, there’s not much wrong with this line.
“You are my world now.”
Ah! Commitment… too soon buddy.
They can’t be your world in just a date. If they are, you might want to not tell them yet if you want them to keep orbiting around your area.
What Do I Text Them to Let Them Know I’m Not Interested Anymore?
First of all, chill. Second of all, chill. And third of all, chill.
Now, I understand that you don’t want to make them feel bad, and want to find the best way to let them know you’re not interested.
There are a lot of ways to let them know, it’s just you’re overwhelmed by the thought “I can make them feel bad” which doesn’t let you think of anything ‘nice’.
It is easier than you think. I’ll give you 5 options and explain why each of them is effective.
Here, texts to politely let them know you don’t want to see them again:
What to Text After A Bad First Date?
“Hi [name]. I think you’re an amazing person, but I just don’t see us as a good match. I wish you the best!”
This is for the ones that don’t like explaining too much. It is short yet straightforwardly simple and polite.
‘I wish you the best’ will let them know you don’t want to keep in touch.
“Hi [name], I had an amazing time with you last night, but I didn’t feel the attraction it takes for us to be something more than friends. Thank you very much for sharing your time with me. I wish you the best!”
You’re not telling them it’s something that they did, you’re letting them know that you had a good time with them, but you wouldn’t do the mingly things with them.
Also, it is important that you thank them, since they spent time and energy on the date too.
“Hey [name], I respect you a lot as a person, I just didn’t feel that we connected enough to continue seeing one another any further. Best of luck to you!”
This is for the ones that kept the distance when out on the date too.
This is suitable for one of those dates in which both of you can’t wait to finish the drinks and get up with an excuse, and both be happy that it ended.
“You were amazing yesterday, but I don’t see this going any further than friendship. I’m sorry and thank you. Bye [name].”
This is way too nice for them to want to insist, or keep the conversation going on the “Why don’t you see this going any further than friendship?”.
If you don’t want to contact them again, you might want to send them another text, like this one:
“Hey [name]. I’m sorry, but I have to let you know that I don’t see us as a good fit for each other. I appreciate you a lot, and I wish you the very best!”
You’re being honest, and not judgemental towards their personality. Instead, you’re judging the whole situation as complete.
Which is the right thing to do before you jump into something serious with someone.
What If They Don’t Want a Second Date With Me?
Dating on Tinder during a pandemic, especially during a pandemic, seems like a pretty good idea. Until your date ghosts you, or they refuse to go on a second date with you.
Well, you know what? It’s easier than you think!
“Let them go to hell!” is what a friend once told me.
Buuut, we all know it’s not the right thing to say, because at some point we too were not interested in going out with someone that was interested in us.
But we can put this in better words: ‘Let them go’.
- Accept it. It is not you, it is both of you.
- Don’t keep it going with questions. You’ll hurt yourself worse.
- Respect their decision/opinion.
- Thank them for their time, and wish them good luck. Here:
“I understand. I feel the same way. Have a nice life [name]!”
“I see. It’s been a pleasure to know you [name].”
“Okay, no worries. Good luck to you too!”
- Carry on. Get a Tinder or something.
Make sure you know the Tinder Etiquette and other rules before you get Tinder.
A Tinder ban isn’t the next thing we’re looking for, isn’t it Rupert?
Consider these things before you send something to them:
Don’t overthink it, Gerda!
Try not to rush and not to wait too long.
Be honest, so you don’t waste your time nor theirs.
Get creative!! Moon, stars, you know the deal.
Love yourself just because!
You’re super welcome. Now go get ‘em!!
P.S. If you got ‘refused’ and decided to get Tinder. And perhaps don’t know exactly how to start, check out What to Say on Tinder?