This is not one of those articles where I complain about how coronavirus f#cked up our lives.
Here’s a story that will most probably resonate with most of you.
It’s the beginning of 2020, I make my resolutions… and one of them is to start dating and meeting new people. I put them out there to the universe, right.
A few months later: Human contact is the best protection from a virus that’s killing millions of people.
Thanks a lot, universe.
Our modern solution?
Of course, online dating! Of course, Tinder!
Fasten your seatbelts, ladies and gentlemen! You’re finding out all about online dating on Tinder!
Note: You’ll be surprised by the positive sides of online dating that perhaps we [humans] didn’t think of before.
You’ll read about:
- Tinder Dating
- What are the ‘new rules’?
- The ‘no restaurant opened’ date ideas
- How do you keep them interested?
What are the new Tinder dating rules during a pandemic?
Did all that ‘taking care of myself’ the first few weeks of quarantine, you’ve had all that time in your hands, it was all going oh so well.
… Aaand the need to communicate with someone finally kicked in, or better said: it destroyed the door entirely, because BIOLOGY (duh)!
You got Tinder (like most of the people did during this time), got some matches, let’s say you figured out what to say on Tinder, and so far so good.
According to statistics, the activity of the users on Tinder has increased quite a lot during this time.
Tinder is a good way of meeting new people and creating connections.
You get to text with the person and get to know them better before you finally ask them out.
The situation we’re in has complicated quite a lot of things.
People have been complaining that no matter the chemistry, the connection, they have been refused when it came to going out and meeting physically.
At some point it is understandable because people have been locked inside their places and not seen even their families for months, let alone go out with a person they just met.
This is the part when virtual dating gets the spotlight.
1. The ‘I’m not inviting a stranger to my apartment’ rule
Dating has been difficult before, but now it’s like another level of difficulty, right?
(As if we knew how to handle the first ‘level’.)
You swipe, get a match, text with them, and when it comes to going out with them there are not many places you can go out to.
Right, restaurants shut down, bars, cafes…
“No! I’m not inviting a stranger to my apartment!”
Note: If you’re not getting any matches to check out Why Am I Getting No Matches on Tinder?.
I know it takes a lot of trust to invite them to your apartment or accepting their invitation to their apartment.
That’s why a lot of people have been going on what are called ‘virtual dates’. Yes, dressing up and everything.
What actually is a virtual date?
A virtual date, as you may know, is a date you have through facetime, zoom or other forms of communicating with each other through a camera and a microphone.
You dress up nicely, you make your place nice and cozy, you check out the lighting and all that.
Just like a date, except you’re both at your places and you’re not physically next to each other.
You text for a while and when the timing is right, one of you asks the other for a date.
Note: This is actually a very good idea because you get to see how things are with that person. And from a safe distance, you’ll know exactly whether it is a good idea to invite them to your place or not.
We discussed it here on DatingZest and we selected some important things you should know:
Before you jump into a virtual date…
- You want to find the right timing to ‘ask them out’.
This one depends on both of you. However, asking them for a virtual date after 1-2 weeks of texting should be okay.
Note: Check out the vibe before you ask them ‘out’. You don’t want to be a cheetah nor a snail.
- Ask them the right way. Here are some lines you can use:
“Let’s cook something we’ve never cooked before! Let it be our first virtual date experience. Does tomorrow night sound good for you?”
“I don’t want to let the pandemic stop me from seeing you. Let’s facetime tomorrow night.”
“Let’s have a virtual date this friday. Dressed up nicely, red wine, sharing thoughts on random things…”
You can send them memes like:
And then add: “Shall we find out this Friday evening?”
- Make sure you look nice.
- Put on some nice clothes.
- If you’re not bald, check your hair.
- It sounds crazy but put perfume on. It gives you the feeling you’re actually on a date.
- Check your lighting.
Bad lighting doesn’t care how handsome you are, it’ll ruin your career on the ‘handsomeness business’.
- Have fun, fun, fun!!
People have been getting quite creative. Like watching movies together (yes, while on the phone with each other), cooking, eating, anything really.
Before you do that, let’s check out…
What are the positive and negative sides of virtual dating?
Just like everything else, virtual dating has its advantages and disadvantages.
Let’s start with the good apples first:
- It is safer.
Let’s say they’re dangerous. Now, this would be a good thing because you’d get the red flags before you’d get to see them in person.
Plus, if they’ve been pretending to be someone else, this will reveal it. Big time!
Note: Keep in mind that you should select the information you share with strangers out there. If you use Tinder, be aware of the fake profiles.
- You get to know them better.
You get to have actual conversations with someone, get to feel their energy(ie are they funny, are they ‘smart’, etc.).
That’s why, before getting involved in physical contact, a virtual date is a great idea.
- You’re more in touch with one another.
A very good chance to know one another before meeting in the flesh.
You get to be concentrating on the deeper questions, what to say and so on…
- Knowing before touching.
You’ll get to create a bond before you see them in person.
You’ll share opinions on different things, you’ll get to see what type of person they are, before you touch them, literally!
Now the bad apples:
- You’ll want to touch them so bad, but you won’t be able to.
- You have to put effort into the conversation if you want to keep it going.
What are the other ‘Rules’ of Tinder dating during a pandemic?
A lot of things changed. Besides a virtual date, there are also other ‘rules’ you can consider:
- No restaurant dates. Here, ideas!
Now you’re wanting to ask them out… great.
There are no restaurants open or similar places open… great.
Don’t you worry your pretty little head, I got you!
If the weather is nice, a picnic can be an amazing idea. You can choose some places that are more frequented in order to avoid the awkwardness.
Whether it is some mountain, or just a simple walk on nature, hiking is a terribly good idea.
You get to talk and walk together. You will see something that will remind you of something else you can talk about for sure!
Parks are frequented by people especially these times.
If you wanted that one public place in order to feel safer or to simply avoid the potential awkwardness, meeting at a park is another terribly good idea!
- Each other’s places.
Well, this is the last one. It is not suggested unless you’re very very sure that that person isn’t pretending to be someone else.
Or if you had a virtual date and now you have an idea about them, meeting up at their/your place can turn out into something fun
Note: During this time a lot of people will get Tinder to get validation from society, get attention, get compliments.
They’ll text with you, do the flirting and all that until the moment you ask them out. That’s when they freak out and ghost you.
If you’re one of them, f#ck you!
However, there are also people that are interested in dating, but also freak out and ghost you when you ask them out… because, coronavirus (duh)!
How to deal with the matches that won’t go out?
Once again the virtual date takes the spotlight.
If you feel like you’re patient enough, or that it is worth waiting to see them in person until the situation calms down a little, you gotta stick to the virtual dating my dear.
You can use the lines above to ask them on a virtual date.
Note: Be careful how you ask them. And remember don’t be a cheetah, nor a snail – the timing should be right.
If they’re not interested in virtual dating either, then move on.
At some point you want to keep them interested in order for them to want to go out with you.
- What to do to keep them interested?
There’s a Tinder Etiquette that tells you what are the dos and don’ts on Tinder.
Yes, this is very boring.
Briefly, here are a few things you can do:
- Be creative. Examples:
“And that, kids, is how I met your mother!”
Try avoiding the boring “wyd” or “hey”. A little effort, you know?
Try to see what type they are by paying attention to their pictures, their bio, their anthem, etc.
Mostly, that’s where the good material comes from.
Look, another winner with a good pickup line:
- Be curious, you kitty!
Ask them interesting questions, not just the ones that make them brag about themselves.
Ask them the type of questions that make them sit, and think for a minute or two.
“If you could change anything about the way you’ve been raised. What would it be?”
“What is your idea of fun?”
“If you could be any animal, what would you be, and why?”
“What would be your ideal first date?”
- Be honest.
This guy… someone give him a cookie.
- Be confident.
I don’t care how life treated you, own it fella, own it!
I’m tired of saying this to people, but I won’t stop doing so because it is THAT important!
Just own it, whatever you are, whatever you think!
Note: You want to be confident, not arrogant.
Trust me, this is the way to go. Otherwise you’ll be wasting both of your time.
- Funny? Yes, yes, yes!
If you got nice jokes and such, don’t hold them in Charlie Chaplin!
Thankfully, memes and gifs are free. They can make it easier for you to make someone laugh, or at least smile.
Cooking something ‘with’ a stranger while communicating through a screen, all of a sudden seems to be the new normal… And as strange as it seems, you must give it a try before you judge others doing it.
Oh and remember, before you go to whatever date, check your f#cking hair, Donald