What is the Tinder Etiquette?
Tinder Etiquette is a conventional list of things that are acceptable to do, and things that aren’t acceptable to do when using Tinder.
There are things that it’d be nice to do, and things that it wouldn’t be very nice to do on Tinder.
Also, things that can get you banned, and things that’ll get you matched.
So, what's we are going to talk about:
- What is the Tinder Etiquette?
- What are the Dos and Don'ts on Tinder?
- Dos and Don’ts on your Tinder Profile
- Dos and Don’ts When Swiping
- Do read others’ bios before swiping
- Dos and Don’ts: Matches and Unmatches on Tinder
- Tinder Etiquette: Matching Someone You Know
- Dos and Don’ts When Texting on Tinder
- Tinder Messaging Etiquette
- Tinder First Date Etiquette
What are the Dos and Don'ts on Tinder?
As you already understood, in order to be successful on Tinder, there are things that you can do, and things you can’t do on Tinder. This when it comes to your profile, when swiping, matches and unmatches, texting, and finally dating.
Dos and Don’ts on your Tinder Profile
It is very important that you pay attention to your profile since it is what will represent you as a personality or character.
How do you know you’re choosing the right/wrong bio or the right/wrong photos?
Buckle up! Cause you’ll be reading about this and what are the dos and don’ts on your Tinder profile, below in the article.
Effort, dear Tinder user. Effort.
You want to put effort on your profile if you want to get those matches.
You do that by carefully choosing your pictures, writing a nice, original bio.
Sometimes, a Tinder profile is a bit like makeup: you want to put effort into it to seem effortlessly amazing.
I know that sometimes you get possessed by this urge to steal lines that were cool back in 2007 and put them on your 2020 Tinder profile.
Whatever the situation, stay strong and most importantly resist the temptation!!
You want to keep your profile nice and original. Nobody wants fake Nike socks even if some of them can’t afford the original ones.
You can always look for inspiration, but you want to stick to your original ideas and add your own, original spices if you will.
As mentioned above, having an original profile on Tinder is important.
Add your personality flavor to your profile. We’re all different, and that’s where the beauty is.
Don’t steal lines. Don’t steal pictures. Don’t steal names.
Jokes that furiate Tinder? No. N-O.
Some people are very much into dark humor. VERY MUCH! They overdo it.
If you’re one of those people, using that type of humor on your profile on Tinder will get you B-b-banned.
- Jokes about race or religion.
- Mean jokes that touch certain groups of society.
- ‘Jokes’ about you tending to profit money from your matches.
We like to spice them [jokes] up sometimes, but in this case, too much of these spices can burn your eyeballs out. Cheers!
Do choose your anthem
The type of music a person listens to tells a lot about them. Also, the type of music they decide to share with others tells a lot about them.
In other words people will get a glimpse of your personality by getting a glimpse of your anthem.
Your photos are one of the most important parts of your profile. In most cases they determine the number of right swipes you’ll get. So you want to be careful when choosing them. Here:
Do show good quality photos, especially of your face
A good quality photo including your face (DO NOT forget the face!) on your profile is a good idea. People want to see you, silly!
Or if they don’t, it is simple: they’ll swipe left.
Do put just enough photos.
You might come off as narcissistic if you use all your Tinder photo slots with you on them.
If you choose them correctly, a few good pictures are more than enough.
Do be careful with your group photos
I know you want to show everyone your awesome friends and the awesome moments you spent with them. But you might want to calm down a bit.
It is ok to use group photos, and get creative with them. BUT, you want to use those group photos you like so much just enough to not confuse people about which one is you.
One or two would be fine. If every of your pictures is a group picture, then this can be confusing for people. And get you a lot of congratulating left swipes.
Don’t use too many of them, and get creative with the ones you do.
Don’t put just any photo
I know, I know. It is difficult to not put that picture of your nose on your Tinder profile.
But persist against that desire dear Tinder user.
You want to select your pictures. The ones in which your entire face is involved, you know
You might wanna hang on to pictures in which you’re nicely dressed, pictures with good quality, and pictures with different angles.
Don’t put photos with the same pose
Sometimes when I’m swiping and I see a beautiful person in their first picture, it intrigues me to check out their other pictures. Soon I find myself getting disappointed and swipe left.
Why? Because they looked exactly the same in every single picture, except the background was different. It’s like their smile froze and they can’t do anything about it.
Don’t put your ‘resume photos’
You’re looking straight at the camera with a very straight face, waiting for it to be scanned before you enter a building.
These are your photos with your ‘interview’ face which are also called the ‘resume photos’.
Unless your purpose is to find (or give) a job on Tinder (if it is, you’re in the wrong place Rupert!), you don’t want to include those types of photos on your profile.
DO NOT use fake photos
A picture of Brad Pitt with the name Ryan under it, is absolutely gonna get those left swipes.
Nudes? Bad, bad idea.
Ah, another temptation that requires a high resistance. It depends on who you’re trying to attract but, generally speaking, nudes are a bad, bad idea.
Your bio is just as important as your photos. And you want to be careful when deciding what to write and what not to write. Here are the dos and don’ts:
Do write an original/intriguing/funny bio
If you can’t think of something creative, look on the internet for inspiration, just make sure you don’t copy-paste lines.
Keep it original.
Who do you want to attract?
Do write your bio based on people you wish to attract.
A certain topic that you’d think would attract who you’d like, is generally a good idea.
Don’t put a list of your ‘great achievements/hobbies’ on your bio
Again, you’re not looking for a job on Tinder aren’t you?
If you want to keep your bio interesting, making a long resume-ish list of things you achieved during the years will not do the work for you.
Jeff, if you’re reading this please do consider editing your bio. Those are a lot of hobbies (plus aren’t limited to the ones mentioned).
Keep it simple, Jeff.
Don’t forget to link your Instagram
People can see more of you, and it’d be easier for them to get an impression of you before they swipe.
Dos and Don’ts When Swiping on Tinder
Swiping is a pretty fun activity, isn’t it? Well, there are a lot of chances that you might be doing it wrong. Read more to find out.
Do read others’ bios before swiping
This’ll give you an idea of the person, and give you material to text them once you match.
You’d save yourself from umatching them and making them feel bad after you guys matched.
Do choose the people you swipe right
If you’re not subscribed to any of Tinder Premium Subscriptions, you’ll have a limited number of likes you give per day.
Use them wisely by choosing the people you LIKE.
Don’t swipe on people you’re not gonna talk to
Dos and Don’ts: Matches and Unmatches on Tinder
Who should message first once you match on Tinder?
It is finally a match! Now you’re waiting for him to text you.
In the rarest cases men also might be waiting for her to text them.
And then it comes down to the question:
Who should be texting first after you’ve got a match?
Ladies and gentlemen, if you feel like texting them, do it. There’s no such rule as who should text first once you get matched.
However, most women wait for the man to text them first. According to them [women] there is a point in this. It in fact is a made up rule by society.
On the other hand, men also feel a sort of pressure to text her first, and in most cases don’t know how to start.
There is no rule to it. Whether you’re a man or a woman, just do it. Don’t even question it! If you feel like texting someone you’d like to know better, there’s no reason not to.
Also, there is no point to wait for someone you like to text you. Simplify it for yourself and them, make the first move.
If you’re a man waiting for her to text you, just don’t. Okay, friend?
Make up or find a nice line to catch her attention and go for it.
If you’re a woman waiting for him to text you, just don’t. Okay, friend?
Make up or find a nice line to catch his attention and go for it.
Do take care of your matches
You matched with people. You texted every now and then, and just left them waiting. You don’t want them to just ‘decorate’ your matches ‘shelf’.
Do hold your inner peace when unmatched
Whether someone accidentally swiped you right, or they changed their mind after swiping right, you should accept this as something that happens.
Keep your inner peace, and move on to the next match.
Don’t ghost them [your matches], you ‘busy’ human!
If you’ve been ghosted before, you are familiar with the difficulty of keeping your inner peace.
Be a nice person, and don’t ghost your matches, Ken.
Instead, be straightforward. Find a way to let them know you wouldn’t like to continue texting.
It would be a good idea to check people’s profiles (pictures, bio, anthem, etc) before you swipe right in order to avoid unmatching someone after you guys match.
However, there are cases in which you like their profile and they like yours, but when texting you simply don’t click.
That’s very normal and okay. You get the option to unmatch people.
You can let them know by simply texting them “Good Luck” or any other line that would let them know that you will no longer be in touch.
You don’t want them to feel bad, Ken.
But if you didn’t text as much and you’re for sure not interested anymore, you don’t have to necessarily notify them, you’ll save both of your time to simply unmatch them.
Tinder Etiquette: Matching Someone You Know
Well, you matched! But not just anyone this time.
It is someone you know. Whatever they are to you, and you to them, you both swiped right for one reason or another.
Let’s say you matched your boss. You most probably swiped right out of curiosity to find out whether they LIKEd you or not, or cause you were Liking every single person that appeared on your screen, you animal.
Perhaps they did the same thing. Now, the question is: How do you ‘escape’ this awkward situation?
Do you text them, or you wait for them to text you?
(Your boss, teacher, coworker, a cousin, crush from work, the waitress down the street, it could be anyone, really.)
Whatever the case, you both got yourselves into this awkwardness.
What you want to do in this situation is wait. For at least more than a day.
If they text you, you reply. If not, then you might want to come up with a line that’ll get you out of that awkwardness you put yourself into with your own thumb.
If they don’t text you, then you can simply hit them with the:
“Oh, hello there.”
Or simply don’t text them at all. And mention it in a funny way the next time you see them at work.
If possible you can unmatch them in the exact second you matched before they see it.
Here’s a winner from 2015:
Dos and Don’ts When Texting on Tinder
You nailed the pictures, the bio, and finally, gosh finally, you’ve got the matches. Woohoo!
But wait. Do you know what to text them?
This is a pretty crucial part if you want to have their attention and actually start getting to know them. You want to choose your opening carefully if you want a text back. What are the dos and don’ts to that? What to say on Tinder and what not to say?
Do open with creative lines
You want to come up with something original and creative l if you want to get a reply.
You can get creative by reading their bios before texting. There’s a lot of material you can find in people’s bios before you text them. Knock yourself out.
DO NOT open with stolen dumb pick up lines
Oho! A 2010 line to use in 2020 on Tinder. Boy, am I lucky!
You know exactly what I’m talking about. Once again resist the temptation!
…Otherwise, get your lines to end up as an example of bad Tinder opening lines on blogs like ours.
DO NOT open with ‘hey’
Gosh, don’t open with hey! It shows how little effort you put into it, and how you didn’t bother to read their bio.
I know you know that the chances of someone replying are low but never zero. But come on already! Leave that laziness besides and impress someone with your godlike creativity!
Tinder Messaging Etiquette
Step by step, you managed to get the match and get their attention with your grand opening line. However, there are also things you want to do and don’t want to do in order to keep the conversation going.
Do flirt enough
People love compliments. A wise compliment here and there, nice flirting is definitely a ‘do’.
You want to flirt just enough so that you don’t seem creepy.
Be nice and confident in your game of flirting, since insecurities aren’t much of an attractive thing.
Do be frank and honest
Let’s say your intentions are simply to have interesting conversations on Tinder and nothing more than that. In order to not waste anyone’s time, you should be clear and honest.
Also important to not mislead people.
Whether it is about dating, just sex, or anything else of your intentions, it is most fair that you be honest with the person you’re texting with.
Do use your sense of humor
A good sense of humor is very important to keep a chat going. Use it.
The usual boring questions and answers, we’re used to them already
A nice refreshing sense of humor is very important to keep the conversation going.
Do not overdo emojis
A man or a woman or whatever you are. If you like them[emojis] that much no one really has the right to kill your bubbly spirit.
BUT, if you don’t normally use them, and now you want to catch the attention or get someone attracted to you. Overdoing emojis is a terrible idea.
Do be confident AND nice
You’re confident in what you say and why you say it. But you’re also nice and not cocky about it. You’re so perfect!!
Confidence is amazing, but some misunderstand it with arrogance. There’s a difference.
We like confidence. We don’t like arrogance. It’s like abc, that simple!
Do be careful with your jokes on Tinder
You want to use your amazing sense of humor and be careful with your jokes indeed.
Sometimes they can be offensive without you knowing it. And the next thing you know, you’ve got ghosted/unmatched.
Get to know them before you amaze them with your awesome jokes.
Also bad, dumb jokes are a NO. Like this one:
K see ya.
Patience dear reader, patience!
I know that when you like someone so much you just cannot wait for them to text you back.
Be patient and wait for the text in order to not be annoying and make them ghost you.
Also, if you keep texting them and asking why they aren’t replying, gives the “I’ve got nothing else to do, so I’m waiting for you to give light to my boring life” vibe.
You want to take it easy.
Do ask for their number
After a time spent texting on Tinder, it is a sign of interest from your side to ask for their number.
Plus, it then gets easier to communicate. And it would also be a way of them showing whether they’re interested or not.
Don’t be a jerk
Remember when I said you should be confident and not arrogant?
There is a thin, very thin line between confidence and arrogance. You can know how awesome you are, but not be a pain in the ass about it.
Cause then you wouldn’t be so awesome anymore, wouldn’t you?
Do check your messages for spelling errors
This proud fella won the don’ts game of texting.
Arrogant, grammar mistakes, makes horrible jokes and whatnot.
You don’t want to be this person. If you’re gonna make an insulting comment (which I highly recommend to not to) then at least write it correctly for f*ck’s sake.
When to ask for their number?
When it comes to this part, it is best that you consider the type of person you’re texting with.
Asking their number is a wonderful idea. You want to find the right timing.
You do that by seeing how the things are moving during the conversation.
Though, it is good that you don’t wait too long once you see that spark.
Tinder Dating Etiquette
If you’re at this point, then things are going pretty f*cking well aren’t they? Woohoo!!
Still, you didn’t make it yet. Don’t congratulate yourself yet. Because still, things can go oh so right, and oh so wrong…
Don’t rush it
When it comes to going out for a date, you want to take it easy. Not rush it nor wait too long.
Don’t rush it and ask them on the very first lines of texting.
You want to see if you’ve known a bit of one another, and depending on how open you are with one another, you can ask them out.
Do ask them out
Finally, when the timing is just right, take the courage (as the man or the woman that you are) and ask them out.
Most people get Tinder to start dating, and if you’re one of them, you might wanna ask them out before someone else does. Don’t rush it though!
How to ask them out?
This depends on what type of connection you’ve got between you. However, I’d suggest you get creative at this part also. Just creative enough, not too extra.
You can also use gifs, pictures, and memes.
Tinder First Date Etiquette
You asked them out, and the answer was YES!
It is now time to think of where you’re going out, and what you’ll be doing.
Do pick a public place.
It is safe for both of you, especially if you didn’t have a video call before going out (there are a lot of fake tinder profiles out there).
Since you still don’t know each other very well, a place with other people around would be a good idea.
Do pick a fun activity.
Having dinner could be fun too. Ice skating is also a fun thing to do, and an icebreaker.
Find something that both of you would enjoy, and have fun doing it together.
Do be honest about your intentions.
If you still aren’t clear where you’d like to take things yet.
It is a good idea to be clear about whether you simply want sex, or a long term relationship, or whatever your intention might be. It is fair to share it with the person you’re dating.
If you discuss it, you’ll know if you’re on the same page or not. Hence it would save your time, both of you.
If you don’t care, don’t pretend that you do. Be honest, find a way to let them know you’re not interested.
If you care, do let them know about it.
It could be a bit difficult to start the conversation, but trust me, once you do, both of you will be far more releafed.
Kissing, Sex. Dos or don’ts on the first date?
Well, this would be a whole lot easier to answer once you cleared where you both are standing.
You know each other's intentions, it all depends on what they are.
However, in general, if you both feel like kissing, go for it.
Even sex. If you both feel like doing it, go for it.
If you’re both into it, then it is not even debatable. Knock yourselves out!
Do reach out to them after the date
You had a good time or not. You want to let them know after the date is done.
Again, you want to keep being honest. Not just at the beginning once you meet.
Let them know how it was from your side, and what you expect next.
Ask them out again if you feel like it.
Unless both of you couldn’t wait to finish the drinks and leave to never see each other again, do make sure you at least text them after.
There you have it, the Ultimate Tinder Etiquette.
At the end of the day you can do as you please you little rebel.
…and get a match or two that sooner or later will ghost the sh#t out of you.