Getting matches on Tinder isn’t difficult.
However, what happens after you get someone’s attention is of the most importance.
The rush of excitement when you get a match gets harshly dimmed by the anxiety once you get to start thinking about what to say.
Getting matches? I’d rather be a champion at online dating and keep the conversations going as well.
Well, here’s how you do it!
The Ultimate Things to Say on Tinder: How Do You Decently Start a Conversation with a Match?
The Tinder opener is a very crucial part of a Tinder conversation.
Whether you’re trying to figure out what to say to a girl on Tinder or anyone else, a Tinder opener is often what determines whether the conversation will go far or die a slow, natural death.
Depending on your start, you’ll be able to form a connection or disconnect from a match you thought had the potential to be more than a Tinder match.
Normally, the best openers:
- Are simple to understand.
- Are not over-worded, not long, short, and simple.
- Include a compliment;
- Carry a bit of a nice joke;
- Are not offensive;
- Are creative and intriguing;
So, what’s the best thing to say & how do you decently start a conversation on Tinder?
Here, are the 10 ultimate tips with examples of what to say on Tinder:
1. Get ideas from your matches’ profiles
You can get a grasp on what your match likes and dislikes through their profile and the way they chose to present themselves on Tinder.
You can get a lot of material for a conversation starter based on your match’s profile.
- They’re likely to write something about themselves or something they present themselves with on their bio.
- They probably included something interesting and/or personal in their photo(s).
- Their anthem can tell a bit about their music taste or personality. It presents a good chance for you to comment on it with bits of humor.
Here are a few examples:
- “I’ll be frank and honest with you, that dog is the most adorable dog I’ve seen in a while!”
- “You can’t like Star Wars more than I do. How dare you?”
- “I’ve been looking for a watch like that everywhere! Where did you get it?”
- “I’m glad to finally meet someone who enjoys listening to [name of the artist] as much as I do. Nice to finally meet you.”
2. Start off slow and easy: don’t overwhelm your matches
An overwhelming first message can push your match away to the point where you can’t reach them back again.
What could be an interesting and long joke to you might be easily misunderstood by a stranger who has no clue who you are.
That’s why you want to start off slow and easy, keeping your messages clear, simple, and comprehensible.
Here’s how you avoid a complex message:
- “I love walks too! What’s your favorite trail?”
- “Hi. I can’t believe I found someone who likes [name of the song] too!”
- “Sorry to be so upfront but what happened to make you hate [name of something]?”
3. Make it fun and intriguing
Depending on your personality you can write something that falls on the ‘serious’ or the ‘fun’ spectrum.
You should stick to your personality, however, the beginnings usually are better when they’re kept light. Especially on Tinder!
This is a stranger who can potentially meet your intentions and wants from the app. Start off light, then get into the deeper parts as you go.
Here’s an example of when you start a conversation funnily on Tinder:

4. Use your sense of humor: Crack a good and opportune joke
If you love jokes and if you’re good at making them, then use this in your favor!
Often, a conversation on Tinder that starts with a light and funny note tends to have a lot more potential for becoming more than just a Tinder conversation.
Whatever your intentions on the app may be, it’ll be easier for you and your match to fulfill your intentions by starting it off with humor.
Here are a few examples:
- “Well, sure, you’ve been to Asia. But have you ever tried my homemade pizza?”
- “Excuse me ma'am/sir, how dare you be so exceptionally hot?”
- “This is not acceptable! The level of cuteness of your dog broke my scale!”
- “Your cat is illegally cute! She made it on my wallpaper already, what’s her name? Hurry, I’m already at the tattooist!”
5. Compliments work as well
A nice, NOT overdone compliment can be a great start! If you don’t know what to say on Tinder, then stick to a nice, personalized compliment.
You want to be careful though, overdoing a compliment can push your match away, and it can signal a red flag in a lot of cases.
Here’s an example of what to say on Tinder when you’re trying to open the conversation with a compliment:
6. Start with an interesting question
Unless you ask a terrible question or a very generic one, a question can be an amazing start to a conversation.
A question about something you’ve read on your match’s bio, about their anthem, or something else that catches your eye.
A question can go many ways, starting from a fun one to something you’re genuinely curious about.
Here are some questions you can ask on Tinder as strong openers:
- “What’s the most interesting thing you’ve seen as a [name of profession]?”
- “Listen as tricky as this can sound, I'd still like to know would you rather date me or Ryan Reynolds?”

7. Say something challenging but not offensive
A thought-provoking opener often is a good one, unless you’re offensive or too harsh on it.
A text that carries a challenge often intrigues a person to reply and express their opinions to make their point.
You want to keep it light and engaging, not harsh and attacking.
Another important point is to be careful about the topic you choose to challenge.
Try to see this as a way of teasing someone but not to the point where you push them off the edge.
Here are a few examples of what to say:
- “I think you’re wrong about the [topic].”
- “I’ll have to disagree with you on [topic].”
- “Listen, you can’t tell me that [name of a band] is better than [name of a band].”

8. Stick to simple openers if you don’t feel like going extra
Some people like to take it to another level and go all the extra on Tinder openers. If you’re not one of those people, then you’ve got nothing to worry about.
As long as your profile and opener catch your match’s eye in a good way, you’ll be fine.
If you don’t feel like going extra, you can stick to simple openers.
You’ll attract people through your way of approaching and presenting yourself.
A simple approach is likely to attract a person with a similar approach to yours. If that’s what you’re looking for, you’re off to a great start with a simple opener.
Here are some examples of how you can pull off a simple yet eye-catching thing to say on Tinder:
- “Hi! How’s it going?”
- “Hello. I like your anthem. You must love [name of music] too.”
- “Hey! Living in [name of city]?”
- “You’re stunning. And I love your taste in music too!”
9. Send a personalized message rather than a generic one
It seems a lot easier to come up with a genius line and send it to each and every single one of your matches than wait for ‘the explosive’ results.
Well, unfortunately, that’s not exactly how it works.
If you’re looking for a good start, for something interesting to say on Tinder, then you’ve got to focus on the person you’re about to text.
A personalized message is way more likely to ‘quality’ results than a generic ‘genius’ message.
Depending on what you’re looking for, here’s something that can inspire you to craft your own message:
- “I don’t like [name of something], change my mind.”
- “You like [music name], you’re stunning, you go to [place name]. What’s the catch? Seriously, you can’t be that perfect!”
- “If you love [music name] you must love [music name] too!”

10. You can use movie or music references
It’s all about the tastes, thoughts, opinions, and preferences when it comes to using a movie or music reference as an opener on Tinder.
This can not only set a good inspiration for your Tinder openers, but it’ll also set a pretty solid condition for sparks to light up.
On the other hand, you want to be careful in what conversations you make the reference.
Make sure you check your match’s profile to see if they’ll get the clues to your reference, otherwise, it can get awkward very fast.
Here’s an example:

What to Talk About on Tinder? The dos and don’ts, the must-know topics!
Tinder users have their own personal limits on what you can tell them.
Therefore, what to talk about on Tinder will totally depend on the kind of match that you meet. It is up to you to read their mood.
Once you make your opener and it succeeds, it’ll be time to keep the conversation going!
Here’s what to talk about on Tinder with a girl or anyone and what the dos and don’ts are when talking to your matches:
– Don’t force the conversation in a particular direction: Make your match feel at ease.
Use your humor, jokes, gifs, and reciprocation in the conversation to make your match feel comfortable texting you back.
Online dating has become a challenge for many people out there due to its dangers and also the awkward situations created by tension.
Instead of pushing the conversation in a particular direction, let it flow without you forcing it.
Let the tension aside, keep it natural and flowing.
That being said, Tinder texts should
- Carry a clear intention;
- Have bits of humor;
- Do not Breadcrumb and waste people’s time;
- Be respectful;
- Show interest in the match so as not to bore them.
– Ask questions you’re curious about
Questions are an amazing way to keep a conversation going. Especially on Tinder.
You’re texting with a person you know nothing about, and the opportunities for creativity are countless. The number of questions you can ask and answer is also countless.
Whether it’s something that caught your eye on their profile, or something you’re curious about them as a person, a question is always a good way of keeping a conversation going.
– Get their thoughts on their likes, preferences, and dislikes
You’re two strangers trying to get to know one another on Tinder, you might as well want to not get too heavy on the topics.
This is why it’s a good idea to focus on lighter topics, the get-to-know-you stuff such as
- Likes, dislikes, preferences;
- Jobs;
- Hobbies;
- Favorites: films, music, series, people, activities;
- Pet peeves; etc.
– Crack jokes during your conversations
A good joke at a good moment it’s an awesome way of keeping a conversation going until you exchange numbers or go out on a date.
Instead of keeping it dull, add colors and fun to it using your sense of humor, and a few other things such as
- Gifs;
- Memes;
- Movie references at the right moment;
- Music references when a particular word is mentioned;
- Videos; etc.

– Talk about music, films, and series
Again, you’re still strangers to one another, hence you’ve got to keep it light with the topics.
Talking about music, films, and/or series is a great way of getting to know one another better, but also keeping the conversation going.
On the other hand, it’ll tell you a bit more about your compatibility and it’ll definitely open a door to more conversations without you needing to force it in a particular direction.
Things You Should Never Say to Anyone on Tinder
Considering that people don’t know you or your intentions, there are things that might accidentally hurt someone’s feelings to the point where they report you.
If you’re looking to be decent on Tinder if you’re not looking to get reported or banned, then here’s what you should never say to anyone on Tinder:
– Brutally sexual messages: immediately jumping into sexting.
Take your time, your matches will eventually hear you. Not all are there for hookups. So, try to ease up on your speed and not scare people away.
– Bragging about your “wealth” or sex game.
If you want to quickly turn off a conversation, talk about how much you are worth and brag about it.
Most people aren’t fond of braggarts and sexually related egos.
– Cracking insensitive jokes from the get-go.
Your tone, your facial expressions, and your personality aren’t really visible through a screen. A joke that can seem normal to you, can be highly offensive to another.
Keep the dark jokes to yourself until you find out if that person is comfortable with them.
– Making jokes or comments on race, religion, body, culture, and other sensitive topics.
Jokes and comments on these topics can easily scare people away, offend them, or even emotionally hurt them.
This is why you should never say something about someone’s race, religion, body, or culture, not on Tinder, not anywhere.
How & When To Ask Someone Out on Tinder?
There’s no specific time you should take to ask someone on Tinder. However, you don’t want to take too long, but you also don’t want to rush things.
Being on Tinder, you will come across a lot of matches if you have a good profile and bio.
If you’re feeling the chemistry you can ask them out on the first day of chatting with them, on the other hand, you can take a few days up to a week to finally ask someone out on a date on Tinder.
Here are a few examples of how you can ask someone out on Tinder:
- “I’d love to see you in person and talk more about [topic] with you. Is Friday ok with you?”
- “I’ve never been to [place] before. Would you mind if you’d show me around? My treat!”
- “I can’t let you continue living without trying [name of food]. I’m taking you out this Friday!”
How to Improve Your Tinder Conversations Without Even Messaging?
There’s something you can do that can instantly improve your luck and conversations on Tinder. And that is focusing and putting effort on your profile.
You’ll get conversations starting before you even say anything.
Here’s what you can do to improve your Tinder conversations before you even begin messaging:
- Have a very good Tinder Bio.
- At least let one of your photos show your interests.
- Smile and do not appear too strict or grumpy.
- Try as much as possible to take good photos.
- Use Tinder Etiquette.
You will be scoring dates very easily now.
Sincerely,
Liam
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