How to Create FetLife Without a Personal Phone Number

FetLife is one of the most popular online communities for people exploring kink, BDSM, and alternative lifestyles. The only issue is that FetLife now requires a phone number to create an account, and this step is mandatory. 

For many, this is a problem. You might not want to link such a personal platform to your everyday phone for whatever reason, and you're far from alone…the good news is, you’re not stuck.

Why You Should Avoid Using Your Personal Number

There are several good reasons to keep your real phone number off FetLife:

• Permanent lockout risk: If your account is ever banned or flagged, your number is burned for good.
• No way to reuse: Even if you delete the account yourself, that number can’t be used again.
• Privacy concerns: Your FetLife profile could be traced back to you through phone number lookups or data leaks.
• Unwanted contact: Some users have reported spam or harassing messages after linking their real number.

FetLife indeed introduced phone verification to prevent bots, stop banned users from rejoining, block underage users, and reduce fake or duplicate profiles

But while it helps keep the platform safer, the downside is that it affects real users too. If your phone number is tied to a banned or locked account, you won’t be able to reuse it, even if you were banned by mistake.

FetLife does not currently offer number resets or allow the same phone to be used on multiple accounts. Once it’s linked, it’s locked in.

How to Sign Up Fetlife Without Using Your Own Number

To sign up without using your personal number, you’ll need a clean, private number that FetLife accepts, and DatingZest is the most reliable option. 

Platforms like DatingZest offer numbers specifically tested for FetLife. This is the most direct and user-friendly option.

How it works:

1. Go to the DatingZest FetLife Verification Page
2. Get your private, pre-tested number, which you can access through the link
3. Enter that number on FetLife’s signup form
4. Receive your verification code instantly and paste it into FetLife

These numbers are exclusive, not reused or public, and they work on the first try on other dating apps, like Tinder and Hinge, too.

Additional methods (albeit less successful, but still popular), include:

– Paid Virtual Numbers (App-Based)

Apps like Dingtone or Hushed let you buy a second number that works like a normal mobile line. They’re private and support SMS, but most dating apps are able to identify popular sources.

– Burner SIM Cards or Prepaid Phones

If you prefer an offline option, you can buy a low-cost SIM card (often without ID); it’s private and carrier-based, so you likely won’t run into issues, but you need something long-term and inexpensive.

What You Need to Avoid to Use FetLife Without a Phone Number

To avoid potentially having your account locked, stay far from free services. They rarely work with FetLife, and here’s why:

• Google Voice, TextNow, and similar VoIP apps: Often blocked or flagged.
• Free SMS websites (like Receive-SMS or SMS24): Numbers are public, overused, and frequently rejected.
• Burner apps with recycled numbers: Sometimes accepted at first, but may get your account auto-locked later.

If you’ve already tried one of these and never got the code, or your account was instantly suspended, that’s why.

Always Keep Access to the Number You Use on FetLife

Whichever option you choose, make sure you don’t lose access to the number after signing up. If your account ever needs recovery or you get locked out:

• FetLife will ask you to verify via the original number
• There is no backup method unless you’ve added additional security settings

If the number expires, is deleted, or the app is removed, you could be permanently locked out.

What to Do if Your Account Gets Locked

Some people’s accounts get locked within hours, even if they did nothing wrong. This usually happens if you log in from flagged IP addresses, try joining too many groups too fast, or use trigger words.

Once locked, your number is also blacklisted.

FetLife support can be slow to respond, and accounts under 3 months are sometimes deleted without warning. If this happens, your best option is to start fresh with:

• A new number
• A different email
• A clean device or browser session
• Optionally, a VPN to avoid IP bans

It is a similar system to Match Group apps, where your data is tracked in order to keep you off the platform, so don’t skimp out on any steps!